Lesson 12: Adultery/Faithfulness in Marriage
Christ said, “The law says, thou shall not commit adultery, but I say to you that if a man even looks at a woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery with her.” He wasn’t referring here to a casual glance, but to a willful, calculated stare that arouses sexual desire. This goes to lustful intent, wanting a person to behave as a husband or wife toward us; wanting a level of intimacy that is inappropriate for the relationship we are in. In one of the early Proverbs, we are told that stolen water is sweet and food eaten in secret is delicious (referring to the illicit sexual pleasure that some allow themselves to enjoy). But in Job 20:12-14 we are told that “Though evil is sweet in his mouth and he hides it under his tongue, though he cannot bear to let it go and keeps it in his mouth, yet it will turn sour in his stomach like the venom of vipers within him. The delicacies he has tasted he will spit out; God will cause him to vomit them up.” One cannot hold hot coals in his lap or walk on hot coals without being burned. Instead we should follow the advice in Proverbs 6 which tells us, “Let your own wife be your source of pleasure, as water refreshes a thirsty man.” In view of the great joy found within marriage and the utter ruin outside of it, why commit adultery? And, so, we need to discipline our minds not to think adulterous thoughts. As Job said in Chapter 31, “I have made a covenant with my eyes to not look lustfully at any girl.” When we regard someone as a sex object we degrade that person, and when we enter into a relationship that is inappropriate physically, we defile that person and make him/her party to or participant in sexual immorality. If one persists in sexual lust, as a type of excessive desire, he is practicing greed; he is placing the thing before God and making the thing a god. We’re told in one of the commandments, “Thou shall not have any Gods before me”; therefore, lust and greed is a form of idolatry. God will punish people for such disobedience.
In the book of Malachi, the prophet said to the people, “God will not listen to you; he will not hear your voice in prayer.” Why, because he is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her though she is your partner, and the wife of your covenant marriage. In our marriage ceremony, when we invoke God to be the witness, this is for a lifetime, to ensure that the agreement that we made is kept. In our marriage vows we also agree to forsake all others; which means that others are to be regarded as strangers who worship foreign Gods. If we ignore this instruction, we ignore the covenant we made before God and man. So guard yourself in your spirit and don’t break faith with the wife of your youth. God brought them together and made them one, because he was seeking Godly offspring. God hates divorce and he hates violence in marriage so guard yourself in your spirit and don’t break faith.